No Control

My seventh grade science teacher, Mr. Adair, would probably be disappointed with my fertility experiment due to the numerous variables I have introduced. In fact, I was starting to lose track of them myself, so I decided to take time tonight to recap our many efforts on this reproductive journey. I’ve linked them to my past posts, so if you need a recap, too, it’s only a click away!

1. Prayers
2. Semen Analysis
3. Fertility Diet
4. Prenatal Vitamins
5. Ov Watch
6. Charting Cycle
7. Cervical Mucus
8. Acupuncture
9. Herbs
10. Fertility Bracelet
11. Lunar Phase Fertility
12. Chiropractic
13. Robitussin

What’s next? Hopefully a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to check my pipes. I have a consultation scheduled for Wednesday, and I’m hoping to get it in before school starts.  I guess that will be a big middle finger to getting this thing done "without the help of modern medicine."  Plus, I already took the Robitussin (Does that count?).

By the way, school starts on Friday the 13th... I think that says it all!

Stick It In Me

Oh, calm down, now—I’m referring to acupuncture! Today I participated in my second fertility acupuncture treatment at Re-Soul in Charleston.


After checking out my tongue and taking my twelve meridian pulses, to the rhythmic beats of Ali Farka (Did I mention this chick has great taste in music? Oh yeah, I did in my previous acupuncture post, Pins and Needles), AmyJo, my acupuncturist, herbalist and future BFF (just kidding, Val) commenced sticking me with tiny needles.

Last time twelve needles pierced my upper back, but today I was stuck with fifteen. Six in my hands (as pictured), six in my feet, two in my legs near my knees, and one in my upper sternum, all relatively painless.

AmyJo mixed up a new concoction of herbs for me, a recipe she recently discovered at a workshop she attended in Seattle. According to her, this potion will give the “emperor a throne”…Honestly, I’m not sure what that means, but as long as he stays clear of my uterus, we’re cool.

Unfortunately, these herbs taste way worse than the last batch—a flavor reminiscent of kerosene. I got the hiccups after taking them and thought I was going to vomit. I’m going to try to slam another shot’s worth before brushing my teeth, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to keep this up (or down, for that matter).

Next week: Acupuncture appointment number three with a cherry on top—Eric will get a treatment, too! Don’t worry, honey, AmyJo said you can rest assured that the needles won’t go anywhere near your yin or yang.

Pins and Needles

Today I went to my first fertility acupuncture appointment at Re-Soul on the peninsula. That’s Charleston talk for “downtown”. The streets are narrow and parking is sparse, but the view of the harbor and the rainbow colored mansions was breathtaking. Amy Jo, my acupuncturist and herbalist, was an awesomely caring individual who spent about an hour talking to me and gathering information about my health, cycle, habits, emotions and the like. She took my pulse and examined my tongue, then briefed me on her synopsis of my well-being.

According to Amy Jo, I have a yang deficiency in my liver and my kidneys need to be regulated. She advised that I discontinue drinking coffee, not just for fertility reasons, but to eliminate tension and migraines. Normally, I wouldn’t take this kind of advice so calmly, but coming from this long legged, red headed, nose-pierced, well-manicured beauty it seemed to make sense. Then she made me into a human voodoo doll by sticking twelve thin needles painlessly down the sides of my vertebrae. She left me there to cook while her iPod played in the background. It even played some of the same songs I have on my iPod, so she must be cool (I’m secretly hoping she becomes my new (second) “bestie”.)!

I drifted off into a relaxing sleep for a bit; then she returned about twenty minutes later. Next she burned a moxa, or incense, on my back. It heated up my midsection, and left a little pink mark on my back. As the moxa burned, she explained that she had created a recipe of powdered herbs for me to mix with water and drink three times per day. She demonstrated how to mix it up and had me shoot some right there. It didn’t taste great, but it was bearable. On the way home I felt utter tranquility beyond any peace I have ever felt. It was amazing!

Eric and I leave to go on a three week vacation on Sunday, so she gave me enough herbs to get me through the trip, and my next appointment will be a couple of days after we get back. The initial session cost $120 and the herbs were $25 per week. Surprisingly, I think I’ve even convinced Eric to try it! His main concern is where she will stick the needles!