No Control

My seventh grade science teacher, Mr. Adair, would probably be disappointed with my fertility experiment due to the numerous variables I have introduced. In fact, I was starting to lose track of them myself, so I decided to take time tonight to recap our many efforts on this reproductive journey. I’ve linked them to my past posts, so if you need a recap, too, it’s only a click away!

1. Prayers
2. Semen Analysis
3. Fertility Diet
4. Prenatal Vitamins
5. Ov Watch
6. Charting Cycle
7. Cervical Mucus
8. Acupuncture
9. Herbs
10. Fertility Bracelet
11. Lunar Phase Fertility
12. Chiropractic
13. Robitussin

What’s next? Hopefully a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to check my pipes. I have a consultation scheduled for Wednesday, and I’m hoping to get it in before school starts.  I guess that will be a big middle finger to getting this thing done "without the help of modern medicine."  Plus, I already took the Robitussin (Does that count?).

By the way, school starts on Friday the 13th... I think that says it all!

Fertility Rocks!

In my quest to learn about everything fertility, I came across an article about a fertility bracelet worn by Jacqueline on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’ve never experienced the pure pleasure of actually watching the show, but the article revealed that this particular housewife got pregnant after wearing the bracelet, so I decided to research fertility gemstones and make my own.

Several websites claim that certain natural gemstones such as carnelian, moonstone, and coral contain minerals that can affect the body and enhance fertility. Others claim that particular gemstones and crystals can influence the chakras, thus improving reproductive energy. This sounds a little hokey to me, but I figure it’s worth a shot. Plus, the last time I made jewelry was in elementary school when friendship pins and braided string friendship bracelets were “like, totally gnarly, dude,” so I thought I’d give it a try.

First, I found a bead store on the peninsula called Beads on Cannon. It would have been more aptly named Beads in Da Hood, Beads Behind Metal Bars, or Beads: Don’t Come Here Unless You’re Packing a Cannon, because it was in a rough part of town (emphasis on the rough)! No eye contact was made as I scurried from my car; past shady characters camped out on their porches and abandoned buildings muraled with gang tags.

As I opened the barred doors to enter the store, the old adage, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” circled in my mind (remaining there until I finished shopping and began wishing one of the clerks had volunteered to escort me to my car (as I wondered if my rims and wheels were still intact (luckily they were, as apparently they are not “spinny” enough for this crowd))).

Inside the safe haven of the store were beads galore-- two stories of wall to wall bead strands, with hip, friendly staff members to guide me to each type of stone on my list. I even found some egg-shaped freshwater pearls which are particularly symbolic, due to the patience required in their creation and the touted aphrodisiac qualities of oysters.

The bracelet was a cinch to make, with the exception of the clasp, which Eric kindly attached for me. So, in the end it was a team effort (hello, symbolism). Stay tuned to find out if this real housewife of Charleston County will be pregnant in the next episode.