No Control

My seventh grade science teacher, Mr. Adair, would probably be disappointed with my fertility experiment due to the numerous variables I have introduced. In fact, I was starting to lose track of them myself, so I decided to take time tonight to recap our many efforts on this reproductive journey. I’ve linked them to my past posts, so if you need a recap, too, it’s only a click away!

1. Prayers
2. Semen Analysis
3. Fertility Diet
4. Prenatal Vitamins
5. Ov Watch
6. Charting Cycle
7. Cervical Mucus
8. Acupuncture
9. Herbs
10. Fertility Bracelet
11. Lunar Phase Fertility
12. Chiropractic
13. Robitussin

What’s next? Hopefully a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to check my pipes. I have a consultation scheduled for Wednesday, and I’m hoping to get it in before school starts.  I guess that will be a big middle finger to getting this thing done "without the help of modern medicine."  Plus, I already took the Robitussin (Does that count?).

By the way, school starts on Friday the 13th... I think that says it all!

Off the Wagon

Okay, it’s confession time. I have totally toppled off the fertility wagon! Not only have I forgotten to wear my Ov Watch on four occasions, take my prenatal vitamin on three occasions and drink my fertility herbs on five plus occasions, but traveling and the fourth of July holiday have also eff-bombed up our fertility diet.

My sweet momma bought a ton of organic fruits and veggies for us (she really wants some grandkids), but traveling back and forth to the hospital in Shreveport to stay with my cousin has made it hard to find time to eat them (Refined Carbs 1, Fertility 0). Plus, I had a couple of cups of coffee on Saturday at Cracker Barrel. The chaos of the last week has blitzkrieged Operation Fertilization to smithereens! Although I suppose it’s not a total loss because we haven’t smoked, drank or taken illicit drugs (or eaten sushi). Yay us.

Before we get the big “FAIL” stamp, I have to put this in perspective, as it was only one week shot to hell. And, we did manage to maintain the baby dance schedule during peak hours, which is probably the most important aspect. In hindsight, I probably should have realized that vacations and strict fertility diet plans don’t mix.

Now that I’ve gotten this off my chest, I feel much better. With about ten more days of vacation, I intend to cowgirl up on the vitamins and herbs. The diet may be postponed until our return to Chucktown (picture Eric jumping up and down, brownies in hand, as I write this).

You Are What You Eat

I’m no stranger to diets. In fact, I’ve tried just about every fad diet there is: Atkin’s, South Beach, Cabbage Soup, Hollywood, grapefruit, starvation (college), cigarettes and coffee (college) and Weight Watchers. Last week, Eric and I started a different kind of diet—a fertility diet.

It’s basically like a Daniel Fast with lean meat and full-fat dairy. The first rule is that everything needs to be organic so we don’t corrupt our bodies with any unnecessary chemicals. You can find organic food in most grocery stores, but I prefer Wholefoods. It seems a little expensive at first, but organic food is pretty pricey everywhere and they have the best variety.

Veggies, especially peas, broccoli, kale, red pepper and pumpkin are rich in vitamins, minerals and fiber, and just all around good for you. Yams are specifically recommended for fertility and some even say eating them increases the chances of having twins. Both fruits and vegetables have free-radical fighting anti-oxidants, especially blueberries and strawberries. The brighter the color, the better! Citrus fruits, like lemon and oranges provide the body with folic acid, which is great for preconception. Also encouraged on the fertility diet are “clean” fats, like olives, flax, nuts, seeds, and avocado. Lean meat is permitted in moderation. This is a blessing to Eric who almost lost his mind when we did the Daniel Fast earlier this year. He is definitely a carnivore!

This diet also advocates full-fat dairy. I am used to drinking soy milk, which isn’t allowed, so I was a little bummed until I remembered that ice cream undoubtedly qualifies as full-fat dairy. Cheese, yogurt, and whole milk make the cut, too. Buttermilk falls into this category, as well, if you are one of the few people who can choke it down. I happen to love it with my grandad's cornbread, but I'm pretty sure the cornbread is off limits, so I'll exchange it for eggplant, which is a popular fertility combination in India. Women there eat eaggplant and drink buttermilk daily when they want to conceive. I couldn't find any details about why this works, so it may be folklore, but I'm willing to try it.

Here’s the bad news—Caffeine constricts the blood vessels, reducing the flow of blood to the uterus, which can prevent eggs from attaching to the uterine wall. That means I have to limit my coffee consumption. I almost cried when I heard this, because I like coffee even more than ice cream (but only because it has fewer calories). No trans fat is permitted, so Eric had to say goodbye to his beloved Krispy Kremes (a tear may have been shed). In addition, no refined carbs, preservatives, alcohol, smoking, or illicit drugs. That, we can handle.

This diet doesn’t guarantee pregnancy; in fact, it’s pretty close to what we usually eat. It does give us peace of mind that if and when we do conceive, our baby will have a healthy start.

Sayonara Sushi

Tonight Eric treated me to Zen Asian Fusion for a farewell dinner. No, I’m not going anywhere and neither is he. It was a somber occasion, though--my farewell to sushi dinner. High levels of mercury in fish and shellfish can lead to infertility. Regular consumption of these aquatic creatures can cause methylmercury (a common ingredient in spermicides) to accumulate in the bloodstream over time leading to reproductive toxicity.

Shark, swordfish, tilefish and king mackerel have the highest mercury levels, while salmon, tilapia, catfish, calamari, and caviar are on the low end. Shrimp and oysters have almost non-detectable mercury levels. That’s a tad bit comforting, especially since we live in a Charleston, with a seafood restaurant on every corner (and given that oysters are an alleged aphrodisiac, they might come in handy later)!

Experts say it’s all about moderation. Women trying to conceive who limit themselves to two six-ounce servings of low-mercury fish should be fine, but I’m going to play it safe, since I probably already have about 2,300 cc’s of mercury pumping through my veins due to my sushi addiction.

I also have to lay off the edamame (and soy milk) since soy can lead to decreased FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and LH (luteinizing hormone). Soy boosts testosterone levels, so my better half can have all the edamame his little heart desires, but I can assure you he won’t go near tofu.

All of this begs the question, “How in the world do Japanese women get pregnant?” Perhaps my dear friend Kimie can answer that one. The good news is that sea vegetables actually boost fertility and enhance the female libido, so when I get a sushi hankering, I’ll have to substitute with seaweed salad (which I LOVE).

So for now, so long spicy salmon. Cheerio, chicken of the sea. Adios, edamame. You’ll be missed.