Tuesday, June 15, 2010

There Is No Try

As I was walked through the mall last week an aggressive Israeli kiosk vendor selling Dead Sea skin care products practically bowled me over in an attempt to slather me with her moisturizing youth creams. Obviously unaware of a little concept known as “cultural sensitivity”, this audacious woman had the nerve to inquire about my age as she grabbed my hand and began to massage my fingers with her mineral-rich salve.

“Thirty-four,” I whispered discretely. She stared back, mouth agape. Seeing this as a prime opportunity to withdraw my hand from her clutches, I began to retract, but she clamped down firmly and continued massaging, working her way up my fingers to my wedding ring. “Married?” she queried. “Yes,” I retorted, dumbfounded. “Children?” she continued.

“Who the hell do you think you are—my new bestie?” I wondered. “No.”

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m really in a hurry,” I lied. She quickly began spewing off product information about the mystical healing properties of the ointment that now enveloped my forearm all the way up to my elbow. “No, thanks!” I asserted, yanking my arm away and scurrying off towards Dillard’s shoe department in astonishment.

It isn’t every day that I encounter strangers who so abruptly pry into my personal life. But I have to admit the overarching themes of this tête-à-tête are typical of those in conversations with just about everyone I encounter in my daily life.

When people find out that I am thirty-four, married and childless, they want to know why. The rest of the dialogue goes something like this…

“Well, my husband and I have been trying to have kids for a while now.”

“Stop trying. All you have to do is relax.”

“We haven’t been trying, trying. We just haven’t been not trying—if you know what I mean.” (insert blush)

Quite frankly, I’m exhausted by this c’est la vie attitude toward reproduction. Tomorrow begins the 90 day countdown to my 35th birthday, and my clock is ticking. I want a baby. Let me rephrase that-- we (my adoring husband, Eric, and I) want a baby!

Yoda, in his infinite wisdom, said, “Do or do not…there is no try.” Since we’ve been trying for two years to no avail, one might conclude that we are reproductively challenged, but we refuse to buy into that theory. So, for the next ninety days we intend to do (it). We will make a baby, and we’ll do it without the assistance of modern medicine.

We’ll do everything, from acupuncture to zinc and you’re invited to come along on this miraculous carpet ride (pun intended). Join us as we explore fertility and chronicle our adventures in baby making.


  1. I love it, Annie! I'm excited for you both...I can't help but admit when reading your blog...that upon encountering the (insert blush)..I visualized it....along with...(insert blush - and giggle) Love ya, girl! Baby-Making 101...here we come! Sil

  2. Love you guys! I look forward to reading more! :-)

  3. Awesome, Annie!!! I can't wait to read more!!! Love you!

  4. exciting! can't wait for the next installment. and seriously, thanks for the invitation to join you(figuratively speaking) on this crazy ride...i appreciate being included! love you and good luck!

  5. So, what a creative way to experience the challenge. My heart and prayers are with you. You have reminded me of so many feelings and thoughts and about the way so many people have no way to feel the pain in your heart. I remember the 7 years of sitting in the doctors offices surrounded by the pregnant women and the feelings I had. I did do the modern medicene technique and ... after 7 years of it and at the point of giving it up, we got that wonderful miracle phone call. You just never know what God has planned but He will take care of you through it all! Love ya lots and look forward to your sharing! Hugs to you and Eric!!!!

  6. Thanks for inviting me to share in your journey! I know how hard it is to have trouble becoming pregnant. My prayers are with you both! :) Love ya!

  7. Thanks for your support, friends! I can feel the love-vibes!!! XOXO